


Baby Steps

by boonies



Category: Dong Bang Shin Ki
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-05
Updated: 2012-11-05
Packaged: 2017-11-18 00:21:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/554835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boonies/pseuds/boonies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>TVXQ gets recruited for Hello Baby. What could possibly go wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Baby Steps

*

 

"Just one question," Changmin says during dinner. "Do you fucking _hate_ me?"

 

Yunho carefully pokes his chopsticks into the fried rice. "I couldn't say no."

 

"WHAT," Changmin cries out, food spilling all over their couch. "HOW. YES, YOU. I. _FUCK_."

 

Guiltily, Yunho stuffs a clump of rice into his mouth to avoid answering.

 

With a shaky exhale, Changmin pauses, runs a hand through his hair, and turns angry eyes to Yunho.

 

"How the fuck," he tries, then takes a deep breath. "I don't want to."

 

Yunho frowns into his food.

 

"We'll have help," he mumbles. "It's not like they just give you a baby and a camera and lock you in an apartment for a week."

 

"THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT THEY DO," Changmin roars. "HYUNG. HYUNG, WHY."

 

Offended, Yunho lowers his chopsticks to the couch cushion in his lap. "It'll be fine. It's just a week. And a billion people will be with us. It's okay. Calm down."

 

Changmin sends his chopsticks flying at the nearest wall.

 

*

 

"I hope it's a girl," Yunho says anxiously, leaning against his side of the car.

 

"I hope it's a Playstation," Changmin mutters darkly, but hey, at least he's talking to Yunho again. Which he hasn't been doing for days.

 

Yunho rolls his eyes. "No one wants to watch you play Mario Kart for a week."

 

Changmin gives him a look. "But they want to watch me fight with a baby?"

 

Yunho's stomach flips a little.

 

Several tall buildings zip by before Changmin shifts and mumbles, "So how old's the kid?"

 

Yunho bites back a smile. "I don't know."

 

"Do we have to pick some shit up for it or...?"

 

Yunho briefly catches sight of a grocery store but by the time he blinks, they're already a block away.

 

"Nah, everything's set up. We just have to show up," he shrugs.

 

Changmin's fingers wrap tighter around the steering wheel, knuckles painfully white. "And not kill the baby."

 

"And not kill the baby."

 

*

 

There's basically two hours of filler.

 

They're ushered into a small, clean apartment, equipped with what feels like seventy thousand cameras. And then there's a parade of ahjummas, lecturing them on food safety, on diaper duties, on this and that and the other thing.

 

Yunho scores a perfect hundred on his baby quiz and looks up, smiling brightly.

 

Changmin's watching him, all dark eyes and unreadable expression.

 

Yunho's heart clenches.

 

"Your mission card," one of the PDs says, handing it to Changmin with a twinkle in his eye.

 

Yunho scoots closer to read.

 

"Pick a daily mom?" Changmin asks, scrunching up his nose.

 

"Boa," Yunho suggests immediately and Changmin tenses.

 

"It's not just us?" he asks the PD, equally displeased and relieved.

 

"Um, Changmin-ssi," the PD coughs, "haven't you... uh, seen this show before—"

 

Changmin gives an apologetic little bow, making a quick segue into, "Okay, Boa-noona. Yeah. Okay. When's she coming over?"

 

Not soon enough, Yunho thinks.

 

*

 

The expert lady literally tells them, "And now you're licensed to parent."

 

Yunho almost laughs like an idiot but there are so many fucking cameras pointed at his face so, instead, he bows politely and pockets his certification and watches Changmin do the same.

 

After she leaves, the apartment's surprisingly empty. Not something Yunho expected.

 

Boa calls in and says she's running late, because _really, you assholes, I have a schedule, too_.

 

Yunho occupies himself by learning all the crew members' names and Changmin just sulks in the middle of the room, sitting cross-legged on a fuzzy rug and glaring interchangeably at his phone and the white onesie laying atop a pile of colorful blocks.

 

And then the doorbell goes off.

 

Yunho jumps to his feet.

 

Changmin freezes.

 

"That should be them," the PD announces and gestures vaguely at the hallway. A big burly VJ's already aiming his camera at Yunho, so Yunho starts for the door, gut coiling like crazy.

 

This is such a bad idea.

 

Why did he say yes.

 

Fuck, why.

 

The door opens and a petite woman's standing there, holding a baby against her hip.

 

Yunho melts.

 

The boy is tiny and has more hair than Changmin and he's got big fat cheeks and Yunho's going to carry him in his pocket for a whole week, shit.

 

"Hello," the mom bows carefully, laden with baby accessories.

 

And then she hands him the kid.

 

And the boy just fits in his arms, head snuggling against the crook of his shoulder.

 

"His name's Jiwon," the mom says shyly as they step away from the door and towards the living room, clearly aware of the cameras. "I've brought his diary."

 

She says some other stuff but Yunho's not really listening.

 

The baby's yawning at him, a big watery breath that ends with a smack to Yunho's jaw.

 

"He likes you," the mom says, somewhat surprised, and Yunho beams.

 

Changmin's rolling his eyes in the corner, away from the cameras.

 

"He's thirteen months old as of yesterday, and he's a little small for his age," the woman is saying and Yunho tries to focus, but the baby's smiling curiously, touching a chubby uncoordinated hand to Yunho's nose.

 

Changmin's giving him a _dial it down, psycho_ look so Yunho listens patiently and memorizes everything and when she leaves, he plops to the floor, Jiwon slipping to his lap.

 

Awkwardly, Changmin sits behind them on the sofa, ignoring the cameras.

 

Yunho knows they should be chatting because that's what variety shows are about, but there are things he wants to say and he legally _can't_.

 

"He's got Junsu's lips," Changmin snorts, then quickly turns panicked eyes to the silent group of cameramen by the opposite wall. "Don't air that!"

 

The PD gives them a knowing _no worries_ nod.

 

Yunho grabs a couple of toys and moves to the couch, placing himself and Jiwon a respectable distance from Changmin.

 

Nothing really happens except for sitting so the PD says, in a pleasantly subdued way, "We can stop filming until Boa-ssi gets here, if you'd like."

 

Yunho's going to send Christmas cards to this PD for the rest of his life.

 

"He totally has Junsu's lips," Yunho says the moment all the red lights dim.

 

Changmin's grinning like an idiot, shifting closer to whisper, "I almost asked if he knocked her up."

 

Jiwon gives them a nonplussed look, chewing on a round plastic thing.

 

"It's a compliment," Yunho explains to the baby and Changmin heaves a deep, suffering sigh.

 

*

 

Boa flakes out.

 

Traffic is a mess, manager error, needed more notice, conflict of interest, etc.

 

So there's no daily mom and Yunho has to go to the store and buy food.

 

"You can stay home with the baby," he tells Changmin.

 

"Yeah, that's not happening," Changmin replies at once, heading to the coat rack to pick up his jacket. "I'll go buy dinner."

 

Jiwon's stumbling about the apartment, gated off from camera wires and other dangerous things, and Yunho puts more authority into his voice and says, "No, _I'll_ go."

 

The PD hastily grabs a large notepad and holds it up.

 

_Go together_ , it says.

 

*

 

Jiwon's buckled into the shopping cart.

 

And Changmin's piling junk into it.

 

It's really fucking surreal and Yunho's suddenly not sure if he can deal.

 

"We'll have to get a daily mom for tomorrow," Changmin says absentmindedly, reading the list of ingredients off a ramyun cup.

 

Yunho surreptitiously unloads half of the junk on a random shelf when Changmin's not looking. "We can probably get one of the Soshis."

 

Changmin turns to look at him. "They almost killed _their_ baby."

 

That's a pretty valid point.

 

"And Leeteuk's shipped off," Yunho sighs, a tiny pang stabbing at his heart. "Maybe we can— _put that back_."

 

Sheepishly, Changmin pauses over the cookies, eyes crinkled. "The baby wanted them?"

 

Yunho pushes the cart away, tugging Changmin along.

 

*

 

They have to eat like civilized people.

 

They can't eat on their couch, or in their car, or on the floor. They have to eat at the table, properly. Jiwon's high chair is sandwiched between Yunho and Changmin's seats and Yunho is really fucking hungry.

 

And he has to eat the crap he's cooked while the crew is quietly munching on take-out fried chicken in the kitchen.

 

At least the baby's cute enough to distract him.

 

"High-five," he teaches, gently slapping at a tiny palm.

 

Unamused, Changmin swallows the soggy noodles. "He doesn't get it."

 

"He will."

 

"And he needs a diaper change."

 

"Go ahead."

 

Changmin looks horrified, sauce pooling on his chin. "I'm not changing diapers. I'm literally going to jump out of the window before I do that."

 

"The windows are bolted down and shatter-proof."

 

Changmin sits for a moment, slightly green. "Yunho. Please."

 

Shit.

 

Yunho's weak when he hears his name spoken like that. But he just ate and... no.

 

"You do it this time," he compromises, "and I'll get up with him at night."

 

Changmin wipes at his mouth, eyes narrowed. "How about I just go home and you change all the diapers."

 

The PD doesn't even stop eating, just grabs his notepad with the _Go together_ scribbled on it, and one of the VJs hops up, fingers greasy, mounting a camera on his shoulder.

 

Jiwon holds up a tiny hand towards Changmin.

 

On instinct, Changmin high-fives him, then groans miserably.

 

Yunho's cackling all the way to the bathroom.

 

*

 

Jiwon is fussy before bed.

 

He's got a bit of a familiar bitchface going on and he won't go down for a nap.

 

He passes out by sunset, however, and the crew makes itself comfortable. The runners come and go, grabbing tapes and rushing them to the station for editing, and then it's dark and pleasant and quiet and Changmin's scowling.

 

"It's not safe for him to have his own room," he says, stressed out. "What if he falls out of his crib and hits his head on the floor and dies? We'll all go to jail."

 

Yunho rubs his eyes tiredly. "Are you just jealous he gets his own room and you don't?"

 

Changmin flushes, almost angrily. "I don't mind sharing with you," he blurts out, then over-corrects, "I just don't... I won't be able to sleep. I told you I didn't want to do this, shit."

 

Yunho consults with the PD and the childcare ahjumma camping out in their living room.

 

And then he quietly wheels in the portable crib into their small, temporary bedroom.

 

Changmin comes to stand next to him, towering over a sleeping Jiwon with an annoyed glare. "Is he dead?"

 

"He's asleep."

 

"He looks dead."

 

Growing agitated, Yunho grabs Changmin's hand and brings it to Jiwon's face.

 

Soft breaths fall on both their fingers and Changmin pulls away as though burned.

 

"Just remember what you said about getting up tonight," he mutters, cradling his hand.

 

*

 

Yunho wakes up at some ungodly hour.

 

He strains his ears for crying or screaming or fussing or breathing.

 

Hearing none, he sits up so fast the room spins.

 

He squints through the darkness and everything seems too quiet.

 

Shit, is the baby dead?

 

He's on his feet in a fraction of a second, bending over the crib, his phone illuminating the way.

 

The crib's empty.

 

Cursing under his breath, heart pounding, Yunho takes two long strides to Changmin's bed, intent on hauling him up and forming a search and rescue party, but.

 

Jiwon's curled up on Changmin's chest, drooling in his sleep.

 

"I was afraid he'd fall out and die," Changmin whispers loudly, one arm clutching the baby in a death grip.

 

Frazzled, Yunho collapses back in his own bed, burying his head in his hands.

 

His phone's the only source of light in the room and its screen is glowing brightly with Boa's text message.

 

_You're welcome._

 

*

 

"The station's not sure we can air any of this," the PD says in the morning, guzzling a whole thing of coffee.

 

Yunho stops buttering his toast. "Why?"

 

The PD's busy struggling with a stack of papers and four phones. "Just... there's no mom, Yunho-ssi."

 

Oddly disappointed, Yunho schools his expression. "Do we need one?"

 

The PD averts his eyes. "They said we do."

 

*

 

 

Mission card says to go on a radio show.

 

So they pack up and drag themselves to where Sungmin and Ryeowook are waiting, shit-eating grins plastered all over their evil faces.

 

Changmin gives them a withering glance, Jiwon tucked into his jacket.

 

"The eomma and appa special," Sungmin says with so much glee even Yunho kinda wants to punch him.

 

Instead, he takes a seat in front of the mic, pulling his hat down around his ears and leaving his glasses on.

 

Shoulders slumped, Changmin sits down next to him and lets Jiwon start systematically dismantling whatever piece of equipment he can grab.

 

"Jumping right in, apparently," Ryeowook says, sliding into his spot with grace. "So today, dear listeners, we have—"

 

"Jung appa and Shim appa," Sungmin laughs, close to the mic, "and baby TVXQ. Say something, baby TVXQ."

 

Jiwon babbles into the mic, super enthusiastically.

 

Yunho's anger melts away.

 

*

 

They're posing for their ~family photos, when Changmin just opens his mouth and says, unfiltered, "They could've given us two."

 

Yunho smiles at the camera, then quickly frowns at Changmin. "What?"

 

"Kids," Changmin says, holding Jiwon this way and that. "This is pretty easy."

 

*

 

By day three, after Jiwon's mom drops by for a visit and the cameras are off, Yunho relapses.

 

He sneaks some food to the couch, only to find Changmin already there, nibbling on a sticky bun and playing on his phone.

 

"I'm gonna text Junsu," he says, mouth full. "Tell him he owes that lady some child support."

 

Laughing softly, Yunho sits down, takes a few bites of his own steamed bun, and stretches an arm up the length of the couch. His fingers accidentally brush against Changmin's nape.

 

They stay like that until muffled voices cross the hallway.

 

The PD's probably escorting Jiwon's mom out.

 

And within a minute, Jiwon's padding into the living room, wobbly and uncoordinated, carrying a small plastic tub of cereal. Unceremoniously, he climbs between Yunho and Changmin on the couch, and starts eating.

 

"You're such a bad influence," Yunho accuses.

 

Changmin doesn't disagree.

 

*

 

On the fourth morning, a daily mom shows up.

 

She's a SMENT-approved celebrity and Yunho's fine with that. Changmin's fine with that. Jiwon's fine with that.

 

Everything's fine.

 

Until Jiwon starts getting fussy around her and Changmin just sort of barrels into her and scoops Jiwon up and holds out a hand, all: "It's alright, I got it."

 

Yunho watches them with a heart so full it feels unhealthy.

 

*

 

Yunho's lived with Changmin for a decade.

 

That's the only reason this works so well. The only reason it's so easy. The only reason it feels right.

 

Changmin's laughing so hard his hand is probably going to break the table in half. One eye's almost shut in mirth and he's making noises that can't air, contractually.

 

Yunho just watches stupidly.

 

Jiwon's graduated from being stranded in the high chair to claiming Yunho's lap at dinnertime. And so Yunho gets smacked in the head every time Jiwon feels like sharing food.

 

Yunho doesn't understand why Changmin's laughing _this_ much.

 

*

 

Sistar drop by on the fifth day.

 

They're veteran moms and even Changmin steps back when they pack up all the baby stuff in record time and head for the door.

 

"Where are we even going," Changmin complains, tone the epitome of sour.

 

"Your couple PJs will be ready in an hour," Hyorin grins mischievously, trying to seduce all the VJs to keep their cameras on her face.

 

"And we want to take pictures," Bora adds, evil mostly contained.

 

*

 

Yunho's worn worse stuff.

 

But... there's a line. There's a line between photographers telling them to basically lust after each other on camera, and making them look like they're _actually legitimately for real_ married.

 

This is the line.

 

Scowling in distaste, Changmin gives himself the once-over, pointing long fingers at his chest. "This is so wrong."

 

Yunho rubs his face, frustrated.

 

Their ~couple pajamas are the worst. They're just. They're bad. They're cute. They're making the girls giggle helplessly. Bora even almost drops Jiwon.

 

Jiwon's too busy studying the photo printed across Yunho's chest to care.

 

"Look, that's appa and appa and you," Hyorin points, helpfully. "Who's that? Who's that? Who?"

 

Jiwon grabs a handful of Yunho's pajamas and makes a pah sound. He points his other chubby hand at Changmin and forms another pah smack with his lips.

 

Even the VJ on duty cracks up.

 

"We have to apologize to Jiwon's parents," Changmin mutters darkly, stepping closer, cheeks burning. "And my parents. And your parents."

 

Yeah. Except Yunho doesn't feel like apologizing at all.

 

*

 

Yunho wants to die.

 

He's sprawled on the floor in their little borrowed room, with their little borrowed baby repeatedly throwing himself from the bed onto his chest and Changmin's texting Jiwon's mom about their day and Yunho just... can't.

 

"Boa-noona's coming tomorrow, before the fan-meet," Changmin announces, powering off his phone and sliding to the floor next to Yunho, exhausted. "And then Jiwon's mom will come pick him up. And then we're done."

 

Jiwon lifts off the bed and tumbles to Yunho's chest. Yunho keeps him in place.

 

"So we survived," he says.

 

Changmin puts his hands behind his head and fixes his gaze on the ceiling. "And we didn't kill the baby."

 

"And we didn't kill each other."

 

Changmin's lips curl. "Still early."

 

Yunho lets the room lapse into silence.

 

He always jokes about being married to Changmin and feeling like he has a wife and being incomplete without him. And okay, maybe they're not so much jokes as his actual reality, but there was always that general, far-away sense of _we'll marry beautiful women and have our own families and mutually leave each other behind_.

 

It's gone now.

 

So Yunho falls asleep on the floor, feet propped up on the bed, shoulder pressed into Changmin's, the baby nestled between them.

 

It's just so fucking normal.

 

*

 

"Thank you for everything, Yunho-ssi," the PD bows earnestly, "I wanted to try something different. The old format was just so... old."

 

Yunho smiles politely.

 

The PD bows again, word-vomiting all over the place. "I just... I wanted to show our audience a week of reality instead of shoving two months of vapid conversations and product placement down their throats."

 

Yunho nods again, feeling lost for words. It's just another variety program. It's not a big deal. He doesn't really care.

 

"I'll try to salvage as much of the good stuff as I can," the PD promises, packing his equipment.

 

Sheepishly, Yunho rubs the back of his neck. "Ah. That might take a really good editor, sorry."

 

The PD pauses, smiling so brilliantly Yunho feels weird. "Oh. Yeah. No worries. We have the best editor in the world. He'll make it work."

 

Yunho perks up. "It's great you have so much faith in your editor."

 

The PD's smile widens.

 

"Well. I have faith in my boyfriend."

 

*

 

Boa meets up with them on time, flurry of hair and screeching fans behind her.

 

"Oh my god, he looks like Junsu," she says right off the bat, trying to steal the baby.

 

Changmin slaps her hands away. "You're late."

 

"Fix that mouth of his," Boa grumbles to Yunho. "Okay, so, what. This is the last activity? We do this and then he goes home?"

 

Yunho nods, preoccupied.

 

He peeks through the curtains. The fans are filling the rows quickly, growing loud and restless.

 

"I hope this doesn't freak him out," he worries, glancing at Jiwon.

 

Jiwon gives him an overenthusiastic full-face toothless smile.

 

"...I really gotta text Junsu about this..." Yunho shakes his head and meets their manager's eyes. "Okay. Showtime."

 

They take the stage and their seats and after a short introduction where the audience shrieks excitedly at Jiwon, the autograph session starts and Yunho grits his teeth when Changmin passes him the baby.

 

"A moment of silence for my biological clock," Boa grunts out, then pastes a perfectly professional smile on her face as fans start approaching.

 

A hundred _thank you_ s and signatures later, a girl sidles up to the table and tells Boa, "You and oppa and Jiwon-ah make such a cute family!"

 

Yunho doesn't even know why he does it.

 

But he just takes Jiwon from his lap and passes him wordlessly to Changmin.

 

Their fingers sort of steeple together during the transfer.

 

Changmin makes a soft stunned noise.

 

Jiwon settles in his lap and immediately sets out to ~help Changmin sign CDs.

 

"Changmin-ah, you're so cute," Boa calls out theatrically, leaning forward to look at him.

 

Changmin ignores her so obviously even Jiwon seems to feel awkward.

 

"Sorry," Yunho whispers around his hand, "he's just really attached to the baby."

 

"Yeah," Boa rolls her eyes, offering a dainty laugh, "the _baby_."

 

*

 

Jiwon's mom and dad are standing by.

 

The cameras are suddenly everywhere. Nothing out of the ordinary happens. Neither one of them says something stupid like _I wish we could keep him_. No one really cries, not even the actual baby.

 

It's just... done.

 

They're on their way home, in the back of the car, tired and subdued, and Changmin abruptly starts laughing so hard he chokes.

 

Yunho's too burnt out to ask, so he turns inquisitive eyes to his left.

 

"Sorry, sorry," Changmin waves his hand, wiping at his eyes. "I just... I realized I was waiting for Junsu to show up at the end."

 

Yunho leans his head against the car window and exhales.

 

*

 

A week later, they're eating take-out on the couch.

 

"When does this thing start?" Changmin asks around a piece of chicken.

 

"I don't know," Yunho chews through an egg roll, fumbling with the remote. "Is it on KBS?"

 

Changmin pauses. "How can you not even... fuck, never mind. Just switch to KBS."

 

They flip just in time for the cutesy opening sequence. It's all pink and blurry and soft and a dozen different scenes pass quickly, in a _this is what you can expect for the next hour_ way.

 

"He's cute," Yunho finds himself saying the moment Jiwon pops up on screen.

 

"Yeah," Changmin mumbles sarcastically, " _so_ cute, with his diarrhea and vomiting and breaking of things."

 

Nose wrinkled, Yunho glances at his food and puts it aside.

 

The format's different than Yunho expected; less sugary and more realistic, but the end result is the same, either way. The two dudes up there, feeding a kid and bathing a kid and playing with a kid and doing all of that together—look... right.

 

It's sweet, in a way that's actually really fucking painful all of a sudden.

 

In a few years, this could easily be Changmin and someone else and the idea alone sends a shot of panic up Yunho's spine. He doesn't even pause to think it should be _him_ and _a woman_ , like he's always said.

 

Fuck.

 

It has to be this or nothing.

 

"Can I have your egg roll?" Changmin asks lazily, still chewing on his own.

 

Mindlessly, Yunho passes him his entire plate.

 

Changmin raises a suspicious eyebrow, TV forgotten.

 

"You can have all of it," Yunho says, holding his gaze.

 

Swallowing, Changmin quickly grows serious. "Are we talking about food?"

 

Yunho fixes his eyes on the screen.

 

"Hyung."

 

"Do you want it to be about food?" Yunho asks his feet, the carpet, the lamp, anything but Changmin.

 

Changmin's quiet for so long Yunho starts freaking out.

 

"Yeah," Changmin says eventually, and Yunho's heart throbs with a sharp ache.

 

On TV, Jiwon's giggling happily, so Yunho drags his gaze up to the screen.

 

"I was saying yes to taking everything," Changmin groans after a moment. "Shit. I'm not talking about food. FUCK. Yunho. Help me out here, fuck."

 

Yunho wants to help but he can't feel his body at all.

 

Changmin's staring at the TV now, too, completely strained. "Say something."

 

"I kept our couple pajamas," is what comes out.

 

Which is fine, because it causes Changmin to dissolve into great big peals of laughter.

 

Yunho can't even function properly enough to say or do anything right but Changmin straightens up and leans across the couch and tugs on Yunho's hair, eyes hopelessly mismatched and affectionate.

 

"No more kids that look like Junsu," is Changmin's only warning before he's kissing Yunho senseless.

 

He tastes like Chinese food and pepsi and forever, so Yunho kisses back with an implied _yeah, whatever you want_.

 

He makes a mental note to send the PD a gift basket every month, then forgets essentially everything as Changmin's fingers twist in his hair.

 

A little too hard, maybe.

 

"Wait, stop," Changmin pants, squinting at the screen over Yunho's shoulder. "Did that thing just call me Shim-eomma?"

 

Yunho ducks for cover.


End file.
